I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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I only write first editions.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX