I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARXLove flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX






