If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXI only write first editions.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
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