Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARXI only write first editions.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX