Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARXI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX