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Any place I hang my head is home.

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Hang Head Home One Liner Place

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Equality Freedom Prejudices
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Meet Night Own Theater
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Confidence
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Love Man Myself
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Anatomy Judgement Poverty
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX

Advance Luck One Liner Welcome Women
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Love Mother
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX

Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX

Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX

Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story

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