Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX






