I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXThose are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Time wounds all heels.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX