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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Related Topics

Poverty State Work

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Reading Television
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Meet Night Own Theater
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Love Mother
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX

Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Humour Read Room Television
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX

Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX

Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX

Bless Crack Light One Liner
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX

Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX

Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Justice Military Music One Liner
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX

Doubt Interfere Marriage People Romance Sex Wife
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Book Darkness Dog Friendship Read
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX

Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX

Club Freedom Member

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