“If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.”

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Do you mind if I don’t smoke?

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.

A man is only as old as the woman he feels.

The only real laughter comes from despair.

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I only write first editions.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Sometimes the best things in life are the hardest to hear.

All can hear, but only the sensitive can understand.

All can hear, but only the sensitive can understand.

Hearing is listening to what is said. Listening is hearing what isn’t said.

Hearing voices no one else can hear isn’t a good sign, even in the wizarding world.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.

It’s easy to hear the voices of others and often very difficult to hear your own.