Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX