If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXEveryone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX