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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny

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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I only write first editions.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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