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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Born Democracy People Republic
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Funny Love Man Myself
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Man One Liner Success Victory Wife Woman
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Drunk Febuary Morning

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