He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARXLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX