I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARXA child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX