Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARXAnything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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All geniuses die young.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX