“While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”

I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.

Any place I hang my head is home.

Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.

Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

I offer no explanations on how i choose to repair what you broke.

The only reason you aren’t changing your life is that you choose to tell yourself excuses.

Self-love is choosing to choose yourself over anyone else.

Your mistakes don’t define you, what you choose to do to fix them does.

Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.

Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

You have the power to create and choose your reality.

Confusion is very important as it let us choose something or someone and give us time to reflect on what we need.