Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARXTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Time wounds all heels.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX