“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.

A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.

She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.

Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

All geniuses die young.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.

Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.

You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I’ll rise!

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Beauty fades. Your spirit is forever.

It is better to burn than to disappear.

Two of our scarcest resources in life? Time & Attention.⁣

Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

Power moves with you when you have an intent to serve more than yourself.