I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARXFrom the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX