A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXDo you mind if I don’t smoke?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX






