The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXIf a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX






