If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX