Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary justice is to justice what military music is to music.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX