Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXIf you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX