Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXI have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX