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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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