Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXWhy don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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All geniuses die young.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX