Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARXI think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX