Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN