I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I told you I was sick.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN