In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGAN
God made night, But man made darkness.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGAN