There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGANChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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