If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn the human race today, you came last.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






