Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I told you I was sick.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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