If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANAny man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I told you I was sick.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN