I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN