If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANA bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN