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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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Enough Food Politics

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Himself Man
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Blessing Deep Hard Time Light Perspective Philosophy
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Life Sick
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Car Carry Love Relationship Sex Vehicle
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Appearance Funny Myself Time
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Education Funny Start
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Farm Hands Himself Wife
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Listening Myself Pain Talk
Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Herself Home Mom Woman
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Man Vehicle
In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Human Race Yourself
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Children Dog Funny Rich
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Eat Hungry Myself
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Death Myself People
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Confusion Father Myself Name

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