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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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Enough Food Politics

Bagwalas

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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Knowledge Learning One Liner Wisdom
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Animal Education Funny Start
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Enough Food Politics
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Animal Worth
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Death Life Sick
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Myself Talk
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
I told you I was sick.
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Myself One Liner Sick
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Death Myself Plant Return
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Myself Sick Yourself
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Come Myself Quiet
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Chance Happiness Money Myself
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Listening Myself Pain Talk
Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Born Herself Home Mom Woman
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sea Sick Tree
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Farm Hands Himself Wife
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Joke Laughter Myself Sing
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Death Far Laughter Live Time

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