Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN