If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN