If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN