There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGANYou can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN