Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN