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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Myself Talk
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Death Myself Plant Return
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Enough Food Politics
Its all in the mind, you know.
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Mindset One Liner Yourself
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Age Body Myself Time
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Better Class Enemy Friendship Money Yourself
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Class Expectation Morning Yourself
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Death Himself Man
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Rain Sky
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Animal Worth
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Death Far Laughter Live Time
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Listening Myself Pain Talk
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Death Life Sick
In the human race today, you came last.
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Human Race Yourself
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Children Dog Funny Rich
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Animal Education Funny Start
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Car Carry Love Relationship Sex Vehicle
I told you I was sick.
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Myself One Liner Sick
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Food Invention Reason

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