And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGANTo Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN