“Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.”

Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

I’m a hero with coward’s legs.

It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Its all in the mind, you know.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.

I do think that some people are born as old souls.

Confidence is something you’re born with. I know I had loads of it even at the age of 15.

We don’t make ourselves compassionate; we are born compassionate.

I was born in Houston, Texas. I grew up in Houston, by Missouri City. It’s, like, a suburb in the area; it’s middle-class. But I used to stay with my grandma in the hood from ages one to six.

The easiest way to be reborn is to live and feel life everyday.

Give up bearing children and bear hope and love and devotion to those already born.

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.