“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Its all in the mind, you know.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.

In the human race today, you came last.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

I had the honor to meet Geraldine Ferraro on a few occasions over the years at the DNC and what struck me was how she managed to be both gutsy and graceful at the same time.

There are occasions when it is undoubtedly better to incur loss than to make gain.

Courage is to take hard knocks like a man when occasion calls.

Stay awhile! ‘Tis sweet,. . . The rare occasion, when our hearts can speak Our selves unseen, unseeing!

The most dangerous madmen are those created by religion, and people whose aim is to disrupt society always know how to make good use of them on occasion.

The term “cultural-universal” is a complicated one, but I’ve heard it come up on numerous occasions while researching immortality.

God laughs on two occasions. He laughs when the physician says to the patient’s mother, ‘Don’t be afraid, mother; I shall certainly cure your boy.’

Frenchmen have an unlimited capacity for gallantry and indulge it on every occasion.