And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






