I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I told you I was sick.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN