In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I told you I was sick.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN