Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGANAristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
-
-
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN