How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN