“All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.”

Clones are people two.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I believe it’s not about the product, it’s about the person–and how the product makes them feel.

Few, I believe, have had much affection for mankind, who did not first love their parents, their brothers, sisters, and even the domestic brutes, whom they first played with.

Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.

Hear you don’t believe I know enough to hold office. I wish you to understand that I am thinking about something or other most of the time.

Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.

Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.

If you believe very strongly in something, stand up and fight for it.

Early on, you can expect no one to believe in your destiny as much as yourself.