“How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?”

If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.

Clones are people two.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.

You should do whatever feels right in your deepest heart. Feel deep as consciousness, open as water, now, and feel how to live with a wide-open heart. Feel how to live as love without bondage.

Sooner or later you’ll hear what your heart has always been telling you: stop trying to be who you think you should be – become who you are.

It’s such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it.

The first cut is the deepest.

People will ask you the question ‘how is life treating you?’ But my question is ‘how are you treating life?’ On that your happiness rests

This is what the heart wants. This is what the head won’t get.

Whereas women are most turned on by a man’s depth of presence, men are most turned on by a woman’s radiance and energy: how she moves, moans, smiles, and opens in love.

Silent lips speak the deepest truths.