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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.

Alan King

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING

Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING

Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING

Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING

Charm Humor Rhythm Soul
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING

Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING

Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING

Again Apple Cloudy Drank Faint Juice Little Morning Nurse One Pour Run Specimen Tube
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING

Fight Keep Marriage Nature Stranger Way
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING

All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KING

Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING

Allow Being Comeback Easy Father
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KING

Grub Hypochondriac Miser Money Worrywart
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING

Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING

Business Course Have Hook Learn Survive
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING

Caught Day Fire House Other
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING

Dictator Full Life Little Run Try World
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING

Brother College Cut Him Member Nail Physician Surgeon Youngest
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING

Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING

Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING

Country Dinner Life One Restaurant Thing Whole
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING

Armor Eat Place Suit
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING

Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.

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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Alan King Quotes