I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KINGThat’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
More Alan King Quotes
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING